I'm wanting to ponder...why exactly I brat. And I DO brat, and sometimes, I feel like I should be given a little slack for it, and sometimes, I really don't.
There are two things I see coming into play when I brat. One of them, is my own fears and insecurities. Does S really have me in line? Is she really committed to whatever it takes to keep me well-behaved? This is unfair to her, I know, but in fairness to ME, it's borne of my own insecurities. I'm worried that she doesn't actually care enough to do it. That she doesn't care if my behavior slides, or if I'm mouthy to her about it. That she doesn't care enough to maintain the boundaries we've set together.
On the other hand (and THIS is the part it's really hard for me to talk about), it's also a means of simply getting what I need. I don't find it at all easy to ask for a spanking, even if I know I need one, b/c I'm anxious, b/c I had a bad day, whatever. I get out of sorts. And then, whether intentional or not (and I've certainly done it both ways) I end up acting like a brat. But, particularly when it's intentional, it's sorta my (inappropriate) way of asking for what I need.
S has responded a couple ways, and I suppose it's good that I don't always know exactly how she'll respond. Sometimes, she'll simply indicate that she is displeased with me, and leave me alone to stew for a bit. This is the hardest one me, but also tends to work me up a bit more emotionally. Sometimes, she'll take me over her lap, where I'm quite quickly feeling foolish for my brattiness, and wishing I'd simply asked for a spanking, instead of misbehaving and annoying her. And at least once, she's just put me in the corner for 15 minutes. I find this most appropriate when I've been being a brat intentionally, instead of just asking for what I want/need.
I'm fortunate, I think. I have a Top who isn't particularly intimidated by my brattiness, and who is also quite willing to give me whatever she thinks I need, regardless of how shy I am about asking for it.
I wish, sometimes, that I could silence the brat in me. She's no fun. And really, she is always borne of SOME insecurity, always there because I doubt SOMETHING about S' committment, love, concern, etc.
But alas, it looks like she's not going anywhere any time soon. *sigh*
3 comments:
Hey, cool! You have a blog!
One thing I think that causes bratting, at least for me, is that not only do I need a spanking, but I need the *kind* of spanking that only comes when I've been bratting. It's just not the same as the spanking I'd get if I went ahead and asked for one.
Not that this is really fair to W., but at the same time, it's something I've observed. Of course, the bratting predates our relationship, so maybe that's just a rationalization (of course, if I wasn't in a relationship with anyone, and had absolutely no hope of getting a spanking, then maybe the fact is, there are times when the brattiness just needs to come out).
To my credit, my bratting has been significantly reduced in the 6 years I've been with W, not that she necessarily notices this. ;P
Nice to read this blog, Nic. I hope to see more from you.
I think I brat quite a lot, at several different levels. I am in a relationship where it is not OK for me to ask my wife for a spanking. For this very reason, if I am too blatant about my bratting, it doesn't work for me. I just get ignored.
Wow, and I failed to respond to BOTH of your comments. For that, I fail! Forgive me guys, I'm new to this blogging business!
JA, I think there's something to the idea that there's a certain KIND of spanking I get for bratting, and I do kinda need that. The annoyed, "Oh really? Well, you just come here and let me take care of that, miss" is just...delightful, especially when I haven't messed up bad enough that S is truly disappointed in me.
spike...alas, that would be tough for me. I would always be bratting, and making her just plain frustrated. If I wasn't allowed to outright ask for a spanking, I KNOW I'd be an unmanageable brat. Though, I suppose I could control myself if it meant that bratting would encourage my partner NOT to want to spank me. eep.
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